Musings

How to Live an Uncommon Life

(On one of the rare moments I shared something other than my lectures to my students.. I posted this )

One of the things I’ve learned is to LOOK.    

LOOK AHEAD… Have an unending hunger. Hunger for things that last, eternal even. Thinking of the repercussions of your decisions today will help you choose the best options.

   

 Look beside you.. to those who walk with you and for you. Extend a hand, get involved, and listen. 

   

 Look back… to where you came from. No matter where you are and how far you’ve gone, honor those that helped you get there.

   

 Never look down… upon people whether they are better or slower, mediocre or not, rich or poor. Avoid labels. The moment you do, you cheat yourself out of a whole lot of perspective, ideas, and maybe even relationships.

   

 And lastly LOOK UP… pray. There is someone greater, higher, and far knowledgeable than we are. Despite how highly we think of ourselves and how good we are in the eyes of others. He alone knows your coming in and going out and actually has your life in mind all the time. Consult with Him daily even on things that seem insignificant, because what matters to you, matters to Him.

      

 Have fun. Though we get caught up in the busyness of life and its fast pace, take time to stop, be still and just breathe, and refocus.

 

Thing is, once you start doing what you really are passionate about work stops being work and you end up not making a living but really living.  And once you stop relying on yourself, learn to let go of your own life, and let God have full control, it is so much better.

 

When you do what you are meant to do in this life, you actually shine at it without so much effort. Soon enough you find yourself being given opportunities you never even imagined you’ll get.

Rain Rain Rain

"The Lord showers rain both to the  good and the evil... " and roll in thunder.  Pastor Joey, takes the cue by saying, " see am being prophetic".
So here am I getting my face licked by the cold rainwater and the wind, as I stare out the window. My mind wanders to the days of my childhood, when rains, instead of bringing traffic jams and floods, would bring me school less days, and whole mornings stretched out in my pajamas under the covers with a good book , a bowl of cereal,and the electric fan blasting on to add to the chill factor,yes I know it's weird, but hey, am sure am not the only one who did this. To afternoons spent running around in front of our house and getting soaked, throwing stones at pools of water and being thoroughly amused at the site of ripples it made.  Have you ever had those? And when the rain stops, your heart just goes pitter patter for fear that the following day, you would be in school YET AGAIN. Those were the days when global warming wasn't an issue, the oil prices didn't matter, and the peso dollar exchange rate sounded Greek. Wouldn't we all love to get stuck in such a moment? But alas,  we all have to grow up, and see the big picture called life. Or maybe... just maybe....it's actually the other way around, we have to grow up to see, what life could be like, so once in a while we go back to such days. When the only things that matter, are the basics. ... hmmm, where is my cereal?

Sopranong Kalbo...Ano DAW?

This review I wrote WHILE WATCHING the play. Now, before all you theater lovers slap me for this outright display of impropriety and lack of respect for the hallowed halls of the playright and thespians, hear me out.
For one thing this was poorly articulated. Literally. Everyone onstage kept on mixing languages taglish, spanglish, visayish/old/new Filipino. Now I know the play revolves around miscommunication but this was really out there. All actors were shouting at the top of their lungs, trying to probably outshine each other? ending in a non cohesive hullabaloo.
Giving the viewer not only a very bad headache for the long-playing confusing banter, this adaptation of Sopranong kalbo is witless, dry and was a weak, repetitive attempt at humor.
We wonder why our movies get stuck in some kind of a time zone where slapstick is the only medium, this is the perfect example.There were a number of undertones that seemed disjointed. Those that watched laughed at the pedestrian jokes, but missing the whole point.
Nearly everyone failed to communicate, wait let me correct that... actually everyone, failed to communicate what this play was all about.. MISCOMMUNICATION. Oh wait... I think they did...NOT

Pride and Prejudice

One of Jane Austen's masterpieces. A number of people actually say that when a book is turned into a movie, the book is and will always be better. But in this case I beg to disagree. I have read the book by Jane Austen and really, was just awed and inspired by the richness of the text and the interactions of the characters. Each one bringing to the table that unique trait that doesn't stop piquing your interest. The movie did more than enough justice for the book. I have seen this, with no exaggeration, for almost 20 times or more. And it never fails to unravel itself to me scene by scene. The dashing Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett, never bored me, and this coming from a self confessed not hopeless/hapless romantic. The undertones and the subtle interactions of Jane and Mr Bingley coupled with the very extrovert Kitty was a reflection of a society gone and sometimes romanticized. This satisfies by love for period films.
Oh and of course, I can totally relate to Elizabeth being someone who broke the mold quite a few times, always with a ready retort of some sort, and armed with a vocabulary so vibrant causing her to be more than very agreeable and very tolerable, She comes across as a woman of strength and intellect, yet feisty.

Continuing Saga

Third week of my academic career is finished. The next week will be heralded by my giving my kids their first long exam. Who knew preparing an exam was this difficult?! I used to hate taking them  and always thought they were never a gauge really of anything I know, just a gauge of how much of the stuff I read or did not get to (mind you sa Med to). Now being on the other side, I actually see that this exam will be in a way my osmometer. A device to determine if any of the information I've been yakking about actually ended up in their noodles.Osmometer, a new word added to my dictionary, i s a device for determining the concentration of dissolved salts or sugars in blood or urine samples. Osmometry is also useful in determining the molecular weight of unknown compounds and polymers. Taking this illustration into consideration, am silently praying and hoping, my kid's semi permeable brains, shortened attention spans and heightened sense for stimuli other than studying, mixed with their genetic make up would actually tell me am doing my job. That is, giving them enough information and making sure that my hours of  wasting my golden voice was worth it, not just for me but most importantly for them. I pray for them a lot, before and after each lecture. Pray to the High Heavens, that they get enough sense to listen  to appreciate and to actually ask questions. To think critically not just be sponges absorbing everything without thought.  The highlight of each lecture is when I see a number of hands actually asking me questions regarding my topic. because only then am I able to see if the feigned look of interest is that all it's cooped up to be or not. So far, I've had a number of hands raised, with some even shouting questions before I acknowledge their existence. AM happy. I continue to pray though that my kids would do well on their exam...

The Art of Teaching

Recent events in this thing  I call my life has pushed me to move out of my comfort zone and into another realm that  I thought seemed familiar.
Sigh, another hurdle, another chapter.
I shed my white coat for the chalk and board. Yes, I finally had the opportunity to actually see if my long term plans of belonging to the academe would be worth pursuing. So I came to the university I never had any idea about, the colors of which that have long remained a mystery to me.
June 11 came and classes started. Heart pounding, I met my class for the first time. A sea of  some eager to learn, a few pretending to listen, a number of  blank, and a meager hard to please faces, assaulted me. Immediately, my sixth sense, pointed out the would be characters for the whole semester and those that would be worth converting to the Sciences. My ultimate plan for world domination. harhar.
In the midst of it all, I tried to calm myself and constantly be aware that these are kids by my standards. All those years of residency, would only enlighten as to how to be able to understand them since they are all in their late adolescent stage.
Like a blink the days went by,  the daily butterflies that visited my stomach, settled down and the initial dead weight I was bearing digressed.  I had to learn the names of 40  people over a weekend so as to put across a point during lectures. I still have to learn the name of anotehr 40 for my other class. My lectures were touch and go on some days. Science flowed into my veins. Concepts I have long been familiar with and appeared to be simplistic to me,  to them were far out and complex. The challenge then was to simplify but not to the point of insulting their intelligence.
I could see it in their eyes, sometimes, it seemed to me that these were a bunch of autistic children I had to deal with, and a lone ADHD patient incapable of keeping his mouth shut while I was going on and on about the cell.
But enlightenment , once it hits them, and that a- ha moment always makes the hours of preparation all worth it.
I had to reinvent myself in ways I never thought I'd be capable of. I had to learn to tap into my right hemisphere, to make use of the vast information and tools available to make my lectures simple and fun. I had to learn to be friendly with www and http. My vocabulary expanded to include such terms as upload, url, and ygroups. Am not jurassic but I simply do not belong to those with enough know how on this techie world. And here I am chronicling my first few weeks as a teacher/professor/instructor. I have been bribed to avoid a quiz, and been complimented on my looks to get a higher grade.I have even been offered a free chauffeured service just so there will no long exams or that I could accept incorrectly spelled words during a quiz (I know , I know, I should have taken it , what with the gas prices and all?)
I have been inspired by some who brazenly admit they will shift to Bio Major (yeah right, who are they kidding) and had developed this knack to partly listen to some hating the fact they are taking up my subject even though they are not majoring in it. This is just the third week of my academic life... on the other side. I wonder what's up next?

I am FREEEEE

Today, I woke up with the realization. I AM FREE!!!

The journey to where I am right now was fraught with days and nights alternating, with me, being left in a daze. I fell asleep most of the time, much to the horror of my friends who were panicking with me and for me. My only contact with the outside world consisted of text messages  that were monosyllabic and  had numerous interpret – it-the- way –you want-to –emoticons (an interesting phenomenon in communication I would like to explore here on o these days).

  I subsisted on a whole bag of coffee (many thanks to the fine makers of Starbucks), lots of chocolates, and old reliable esomeprazole.

So now, I have an ulcer that waxes and wanes, have had too much sleep unintentionally, unemployed, penniless, and a bedroom where in bats would ecstatically habituate.

Am I happy? Was it worth it? A whole month of being cooped up in my bat cave, waking up with and next to my flavor of the month, Nelson! (Textbook of Pediatrics), my very own concentration camp? Gaining consciousness in the weirdest contortions, with a crick in my neck, surrounded by papers, books strewn, pens leaking, and highlighters practically seeping into my shirt (good mental pic)? Ok ok am getting a wee bit too melodramatic here. Ask me again was it worth it?

Heck YES. (…….and insert emoticon here)

I passed the freaking diplomate boards!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now my month long hiatus, and roller coaster ride of emotions, ranging from complete silence bordering on autism to outright rage……… halts!

News hit me and I felt like doing a Julie Andrews right in the middle of my bedroom!

I have learned a lot, which believe me is always good, but the thing is I discovered more about myself in the process. I had to let go of the sense of control I was kidding myself with, be a little bit more patient (yes , yes am working on it) and lean on a Higher Being. To rest in the fact that this is just one hurdle and not the determinant of my entire life. I saw the endless possibilities, after cowering at the sight of uncertainties and doused the fires of doubt and the fear of failure with comfort from people I love.

The tremendous faith of friends, colleagues, and my consultants fueled the insatiable desire to be done with it. I appreciated the presence of family, and friends who stood with me, putting up with my roller coaster of affects and emotions.

Would I do it again?

Heck………NO (am not that cuckoo yet)

But then again, that’s the beauty of life, you may dream, plan and set your sights, but nothing is absolute. The only thing that is constant is change.

Who knows in a few years, I may just lose it and do this all over again.

Haha.

Many thanks to my dearest dearest friends for everything, I will no longer enumerate. You were my crutch.

 

 

Thought about today's bizaaare Peoppple

On the way we think…

We are all leaders in a sense, therefore, we should be very critical not only of others but also of ourselves. Our opinions, ideas , and principles may very well serve as foundations for the decisions and actions people around us and under us undertake.

One of the questions we should continuously ask ourselves is this: Are we laying down good foundations? Or are we actually making up excuses for a weak one, in the hope of just getting along? Or so that we can be mediocrity sugar- coated?

 
On being a leader….

We, as those who have gone ahead, have a duty to those who follow us; it is our calling, our solemn job description to impart values and knowledge.

Accountability.

We must make them responsible for their actions and decisions.

To take heart.

We must teach, guide and inspire them every step of the way, let them take the credit when it is due and let them take the blame also when it is appropriate.

BE present.

Applaud them at their best, and yet uphold them at their lowest.

Surpass us.

Pursue excellence in everything, never settling for acceptable.

Never forgetting…

they look up to us, watch our every step, our every word and most importantly our very hearts, with great expectations.

We are therefore mandated to prove ourselves, to stand out, and set the bar. To reach heights that we may  have never thought of, to emerge from the recesses of the improbabilities and impossibilities, to pass on the torch and to shine.

 

On not being ready….

We can take as long as forever to realize a lot of things…

but most of the time our patients do not have the luxury or the time to wait for us to feel that we are able.

Sometimes, if not always, we just have to do what SHOULD BE DONE. This is life, and a life.

We make mistakes as every human being is naturally bound to, but we can’t afford to wallow nor beat ourselves up over it.

We must quickly and without second guessing, turn it around to more productive matters.

Death never waits for anyone.

 

 

On some people I know…

 

Inconsiderate.

selfish.Thoughtless.

insensitive.uncharitable.UNKIND.

uncaring.careless.unthinking.tactless.

reckless.foolish, heedless.absentminded.

inattentive.neglectful.

withoutregard.oblivious.

rash.

Water Balloons

    If anybody asks how the first day of the New Year was for me, I’d say it was WET.   
     I woke up early, which was highly unlikely , given how late I already turned in. I left my TV, laptop, and all the lights in my room, on.
    It was a miracle too that I slept amidst the noise of our half drunk neighbor singing to a deafening pitch. I wanted to yell “ put a sock in it why don’t you!”  But given the state that he is in, the best response I would have gotten would be glassy eyes and a semi leer.
    So on to my day, Matt, as you may recall, is my youngest brother, and has been poring over the pages of Calvin and Hobbes collection a very good friend of mine gave me for Christmas.  More importantly, he is now in Book TWO! I haven’t even opened book one yet! Why I said this you will understand in the next few paragraphs.   
     There are three important ingredients to this morning and those were my mom, Matt, and balloons.
     My mom yesterday had the brilliant idea of buying so many balloons, she said she wanted to have them blown up (last Christmas, I bought a hand held balloon pump, or is that what they call them?.........nevermind) and released to the skies. Umm, good idea, only thing is, we don’t have a helium tank. So it dawned on her, that lack of the very essential tank, made her scheme pretty much irredeemable. So we mocked her for it and all she could do was cackle with us.
    On the other hand, Matt, having seen the endless possibilities of those balloons, had an AHA moment and being inspired by the infamous Calvin , sought my permission , this morning to turn them into water balloons.
    Now the elder sister in me, had to battle it out and weigh the consequences. It must have been the lack of sleep for I eventually gave in. And so we battled it out in our terrace, we filled numerous balloons, of variable shapes, colors, and sizes.
    Matt laid the ground rules:  no using the hose, we can only inflate the balloons to the same size so no cheating (how he even came up with such fairness and equality is beyond me) and we can only throw them when no one is filling another balloon. 
    So we commenced with the battle, Matt and I threw them at each other, made them catapult from one end of the terrace to the other, literally soaking both of us.  We drenched the windows of my mom’s bedroom and the orchids she has outside.         Some of those balloons were tough, despite us taking turns of throwing them at each other, they neither burst nor broke. But we giggled.  We screamed with glee, I more than him, actually, unabashedly.
    I got water in my ears and he got water in his nose.
    We made them into water guns, and we ran like crazy around that little L shaped veranda. He slipped and fell and we snickered.  We conspired, and threw them over towards the street, and when we heard “splat” we laughed uncontrollably. This lasted for a good long thirty minutes, and then we had to go in, and actually take a bath.         The rest of the morning, I sat in front of the TV watching cartoons, and eating breakfast with the men in my life (my brothers). They started hitting each other and shouting at each other, which I think brothers must do daily or else they would really have an unhealthy relationship.
    And it was then that I had prayed, prayed for everyday of the year to be like this. For everyday to start out finding out what it is that would make our heart fill with joy and fun and just do it.   Hoping for every morning to be an exercise in returning to the state where the simple things in our lives show us to be like children again. For our souls, to learn to reconnect with those that really matter and those whose lives, will forever be intertwined with ours.
Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My take on today

November 29, 2007
My take on today
Our country has again been besieged by a troop of foolish people trying to parade themselves as saviors of these seven thousand islands, we so lovingly call home, and masquerading as just and honorable individuals campaigning for change.
I am so enraged!
Why?
Disclaimer These are my opinions and my thoughts, I speak for no one else but myself.  My opinions therefore are subject to change once I realize they are wrong.

Number 1.   They ARE PRETENDING
             Take Senator Trillanes, he practically stated that he is there to serve the country and the Filipino people.  To you my dear senator, the Filipino people, hailed you as their champion when you were put in that position. And what do you do? You actually propagate dissent! You keep telling us that the government is stupid, is dirty, and not actually following their role as protectors of the people.
          But let us ask you then, for the past few months that you were in office, despite the fact that you were not given the chance to serve. What did you do?         You keep harping about the fact that you were voted by 11 million people and that the government took that away. Any self respecting man , any man wanting change, any man ACTUALLY  DREAMING of change doesn’t look at the barricades to it, he FINDS A WAY AROUND it . A way that will actually not lead to one’s downfall but one that will ask of people and make people see,  eventually one that will ENLIGHTEN the masses.                             Did you take steps to uncover mistakes? Did you educate? Did you set an example? Today did you think you set an example? You literally walked out of court, and saying that you did it because you wanted government to change! Do you even think for the almost six hours that you barged into Manila Peninsula with your armed men you were a picture of PEACE? A man wanting to change the current system? That you were non violent?  OPERATIVE WORD HERE: BARRAGE AND WALKING OUT OF COURT.          You and General Lim kept on telling people that what you did was not in relation to the court case being served you. You think what you did echoed exactly that?  Stop pretending to be an angel my dear senator. Wake up and smell the coffee.            You may want change but the means you wanted to achieve it were SO WRONG. You tell us that it was the government that put media and civilians in the line of fire and was actually ruthless. Why is that you think? Oh wait, because you, A MAN WANTING CHANGE, suddenly out of nowhere, WALK OUT OF YOUR OWN HEARING , SURROUNDED BY SOLDIERS WITH GUNS, LITERALLY WALK TO MANILA PENINSULA AND LOCK YOURSELF UP IN A ROOM . You think that’s reputable and even safe for the innocent by standers INSIDE THE HOTEL?  You think that sounds well though of? Peaceful?

Number 2: Where is your faith………
            To the Bishops, you ask people to change, government to change, and ask people to basically stand up and unite for change.
           You ask the world to have mercy on the government? But hear me out, did you ask God to forgive the government? Did you ask God to guide you and your constituents? Did you put God first and what He actually wants you to do  before your own? Did you as the church fulfill its role?  Did you in fact initiate change of heart, mind, and attitude which you are actually mandated to do?
                Every Sunday when you get the chance to converse with people every where, to reach them the way government officials can not, you have the ways and means to spur change, did you actually prioritize this?
                   But more and more there is lawlessness, more and more are people confused regarding spirituality , religion , and God. God has been replaced by the New Age, by occults and cults, atheism and agnosticism are in now. It is your duty to introduce God and once God is the ruler of one’s life then we will see change, then you will see people standing up for what is right and what is moral and what is just. Have you in fact done this for the country? For the churches you rule?

Number 3 You are assuming……
                   Why do you automatically assume that the Filipino people can not think for themselves, that’s why you have to be the ones standing in front? Why do you remove from us the choice to stand up for our own and come to the conclusion that this government, if indeed it is, is evil, is corrupt and ineligible to lead? Why is it that you always think an uprising being lead by you should always be the answer?

Last and finally the least
             You shout from the rooftops change, you roar about yearning for conversion in the system and YET YOU OFFER NO SOLUTIONS! You run marathons, run shows, start endless, nerve wracking and emotion tugging speeches when you SHOW US NO ALTERNATIVE.
              You want the prevailing people, idea, and schemes to change, yet all you draw attention to are the mistakes, the dirt, and the seemingly lack of care for morality, justice and the truth. What resolutions have you actually made? What explanations have you actually tried and offered?
               If you topple the current government, can you assure us, the Filipino people, that you have someone, a person, a human being that is more than capable, more than willing to do the job, fill in the chasm you have created? Does that person have the heart to be morally upright? To be immune from the temptations that will surround him?
                I speak not in behalf of the government. The government has its own misgivings. But I speak for myself. I am aware of the numerous mistakes and the countless wrongs in this country, but I am doing my part, I am actually thinking of ways to improve my life, the life of the people I serve and work for.
                Everyday I wake up , I make the conscious decision to be responsible for my thoughts and actions. I am actually studying, and in the process forming my own opinions and weighing my options.
                  What we need in this country, are individuals that are working together. Pebbles thrown into a pond make ripples.
                  A country dies when it’s people blindly follow the common idea and forget to consider, to reason , to ponder and to deliberate on issues that are imperative.   
                   More critical, is that a country dies when individuals act on their own trying to be the bearer of a burden they wouldn’t share at all.